Photo Dumps

I guess photo dumps are a clever way of just posting photos with no needed explanation, so what better way to relieve this creative constipation LOL by doing some much needed clean up on my camera roll

I guess I just feel like

I keep coming back to this place where it felt safest to dump everything from the past two years: Leo’s west coast tour, the pandemic, the metamorphosis; I guess I just always feel like I don’t have enough time, when I actually do, and all my time is just filled with excuses justified by the imposter syndrome. How did I manage to create so much and post and just not care?

Salute to Healthcare

50% Geographic Knowledge / 50% Geographic Luck. Mapped out the Thunderbirds’ flight path and pinpointed a perfect park with predominantly unobstructed views for the kids to see the jets (this is for your mom!!). From our spot, I estimated their direction and set a frame (standing in place for over 10 min) and into the frame they flew.

Gratitude Attitude

I hadn’t given much thought to it really— the way my fam slows down when I’m photo hunting on the road, the excitable “did you get it?” after I’ve pulled the trigger, and me exclaiming that I captured what I wanted ( though some couldn’t be framed like the first image). Little things, the simple act in supporting this passion of mine, means everything to the girl who used to feel like her life was worth nothing. Always grateful.

Winter Writing Warm-Up

I’ve been part of the HITRECORD community for a few years now, but never took the time to regularly respond to prompts. My writing sucks now. I felt it in the last post and I can feel it seeping in this one. Look, I hate talking about myself but I love creatively expressing myself. It’s complicated. So here’s a little story to warm up those writing muscles.

She wasn’t quite sure what started it first: the repetitive roar, the enclosed space, or the terrifying tremble that penetrated metal in the inescapable darkness. She was trapped. The overwhelming visuals caused her to scream in terror, drowning out the menacing laughter in front of her. How can I make a car wash scenario possibly scarier the author thought. Because this was the early 90s, and car washes were terrifying.

Weird 2020

2020 is weird. I stopped reading dystopian novels bc their narratives have become our reality. I don’t know how I haven’t found the energy to write, I wanna do a thousand things at once and improve on the creative skills that have grown with me throughout my life esp drawing and photography. It’s strange that in all this time, I didn’t document a single thing through this blog; such an opportune time to jot down history. It’s been a while, writing on cold muscles.

I’ve been in a fun, nerdy, loving, and healthy relationship (two years strong) and it’s the weirdest (but welcoming) change that I’m still fully adjusting to. It took a while to work through insecurities, I even joked with Leo that I was sorry I didn’t look like IG (which is rly stupid). I’ve tried to sabotage this relationship in different degrees bc his love felt undeserved.

This will be annoyingly lazy but it rly does come down to loving yourself before being with someone else. We both love our own space and solitude just as much as each other’s company, working through our anxieties, and it’s a beautiful balance.

The weirdest feeling in this weird year is happiness. Even with SAD’s intrusion, I choose light and love and happiness. I hate that it had to take another person to help me get over my insecurities, but sometimes that’s all you need. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, my endgame was to travel and make a living (and ok, “marry an Italian chef or sushi chef” lol). But when your meet cute is sparked by Star Wars and Comic Con at a Christmas party and you learn that you were both at a previous party but didn’t see each other (and you both watch Brooklyn 99) then you can’t help but entertain the cinematic idea of fate.

As self assured as I was with being single, there were multiple times when I wished I wasn’t (hello third & fifth wheel). At the end of the day, no matter how much you try to deny it, everybody wants somebody.

Lately

A majority of my writing and drive to share has found a stronger commitment elsewhere (then again I can always just copy and paste those texts/images onto here but like…lazy lol).

Kusama x Murakami

The Pop-Up Gallery just ended today and it reminded me how after a series of hit-and-misses, the universe finally decided to bring these lovely souls to me. And time spent at the Infinity Mirrored Room was limitless, compared to 45sec at the Broad!

The creative process can be soul-sucking —but tonight, the crescent moon, swirling fog, the stars in-between, and kaleidoscopic skyline all worked in my favor, lyrically interpreting a song that was inspired by that famous Van Gogh painting, and it was perfect 🎶🎨🌠🌃